The Ringer



"I'm having the best time too Christopher, thanks for taking me on your Honeymoon, I wish it had gone different for ya, Honey but when life gives you lemons make lemon chicken.




Brutal getting jilted at the altar but I literally never thought she was right for you. Sarah was always so openly disrespectful, unfaithful, critical of your sexual performance. That Witch was always making you cry, often publicly. I guess we can't help who we love, huh? At least it was her Dad who paid a stoopid amount for That Harlot's non wedding and we got a lux vacay.

I rally like you too and I get it, the Honeymoon suite it's been feng shui'd for fucking and we keep getting high and drunk AF. But I just rally like being Besties that's why I didn't even blink when you asked me to tag in for The Fiancé from the depths of hell.

So can we keep just cuddling like Sisters? If you need to jack orf I get it but wouldn't it be so empowering to get through such a tough time without beating orf like some ridiculous sex crazed Queenie?

Obvs you're Cute, even Sarah admits that. I think you need something real, not porn, with someone who'd make you feel like such a Man, totally adored and taken care of.




Patrick, or Patty if you prefer, this Forced Femboi I coach, could so be that person. He's under huge pressure from his Step Mom to get a steady BF. But he's had a tough time of it, took him ages to get over the transition and even longer to get over Girls. He'd be kinda perfect for you, she's got a bit of a 'tude but not evil like The Ex, he's the cute amount of Sassy.

Well he's acts up at times TBH, it's hard going Ultra Fem when you had this whole incredible Masc future planned out but unlike Sarah, Patty actually wants to be put in his place by his man.

Will you give it a shot when we get back to City? Cool I feel rally guilty about this I forgot to bring a gift to the wedding, I guess I spaced because I had misgivings about the whole thing.

Yar it's not just that, I swiped a toaster oven off the gift table, in my defence I thought it would be conveenie for bagels. You ain't mad rite?"


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